Monday 12 December 2011

Oh, Fickle Child

Looking back through my folder of work, which was accumulating like unswept dust, I found this. Oh how things change. But I'm glad I'm never to return to the way things were. My maxim is to never wish you could go back to a previous chapter in your life, because you don't know how good the next one will be.

"This is me. I live at the bottom end of a cul-de-sac in England, where nothing ever happens. Well, there was a burst water main once so a big digger had to come and eat the road; the bin men come sometimes too. But apart from that you could hear a pin drop here. What are we trying to be? We are all so tiny and so very self-contained, just little ants going back and forth with bits of leaf. Sometimes I swear I pass myself going home when I'm leaving.

This is constant, never changing. John will always be there in the window waving (apart from at 6pm, which is when he has his head down because he's having his tea) and there will always be a cat or two wandering around - Monty likes to sit on Ian's front lawn. Oh the monotony! And from this little semi-detached house I am living and writing, existing and getting HIGH and I guess that I'm wondering whether I can get my name in lights somewhere outside of SANDYGATE AVENUE, SHREWSBURY.

You never know. Charles Darwin came from here. He changed a lot of minds and went on some pretty amazing adventures. I need to find my own Beagle and set sail before I fade away into routine and (capitalist) society.

(surprising truths spring forth from the mushroom)."



And that was that, that comparatively minuscule nugget of time in which I almost believed things really would never change. But they did. And how they changed. Now I live in a different boring place, I see different boring people and different nice people. But the biggest, the best and the change I am most grateful for - now I am in love and someone is in love with me. It eases the boredom but not only that, it makes me stronger, makes me feel that all this boredom while I'm away from him is not a waste of time. It gives me purpose, more purpose than I've ever had before, because I know that what waits for me when I get this degree and leave this place forever... my life will not be boring any more.

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